Pay Your Taxes

What?, you say.  Paying taxes is so uncool!

Nope.  It’s the law.  Maybe you think you’re smarter than everyone else, and you’ve found a way to get paid “under the table,” so you can cheat The Man.  What you’re really doing is (a) committing a crime and (b) cheating everyone else.  Do you drive on paved roads?   Collect federal or state benefits?  Do you expect firefighters to show up if your house burns down?  Do you want to live in a world populated by people who have something resembling an education?  Would you like the police to show up if someone attacks you?  Or would you prefer to be raped to death in a burning building by idiots who cannot read?  

                                                      

Taxes pay for these things.  Taxes pay for roads and schools and police and fire and prisons.  Taxes pay for the National Guard, so you can feel safe.  Taxes even pay for the government to operate, which lets you sit back and be so smug in how great you are that you figured out how to beat the system, unlike all those law-abiding suckers.  That wouldn’t fly in a Communist society.  You’re not beating The Man, dude.  You are ripping off every single law abiding citizen in the country, from the big shot CEO to Jim who makes your coffee at Starbuck’s every morning.  The coffee that you couldn’t afford if you paid your taxes, like you’re supposed to.  Don’t be a criminal.  And don’t be an asshole.