What It Means to Be a Tenant, Part 2

We've already talked about how, when your lease is up, you need to move out, especially if you're not paying rent. But apparently, some people don't really understand what moving out means, so let me help you.

1. You take your stuff with you. It's not the landlord's responsibility to figure out what to do with your stuff, and it's a complete dick move to leave the landlord wondering if you've actually vacated. Do you really want to be both a dick and an asshole? You don't care? Do you want to pay whatever it costs the landlord to have all your shit removed? Ok, then. Take it with you.
2. You clean the place so it looks as good as it did when you moved in. Did it look awful when you moved in? Was there trash in the corners? If not, the non-asshole thing to do is to take a couple of hours to fix it up (unless you don't care about having cleaning costs deducted from your deposit).
3. You return the keys. This lets the landlord know that you've left and he can enter. It can also prevent the landlord from charging you to change the locks. And let's be honest - you know that you don't need the keys anymore, so you're keeping them for one of two reasons: Because you're so insanely lazy that you should be ashamed of yourself or because you're an asshole. Neither of those is a good reason.
4. If you want your security deposit back, you leave a forwarding address.

Easy, right? I've done it 100 times. Now you try it.