In most states, when you go to a restaurant, the person who is bringing you food and drink makes less than minimum wage. Way less, in fact. In some states, a restaurant is allowed to pay servers only $2.13 per hour. They have to make the rest up in tips. They get those tips from customers.
The tip is supposed to reflect whether the server did a good job. If the server is polite and friendly, brings you what you ordered, and keeps your water glass full, yes, that’s the job they’re supposed to do. But they don’t actually get paid a livable wage for doing that, so do the American thing and go ahead and tip like you’re supposed to. Standard these days is about 20% of the bill in most areas, before tax (some servers will tell you after, but that’s usually not how it works).
Now, this system is stupid. The person who came up with it should be punched in the balls repeatedly. It makes far more sense to just have employers pay their employees and roll it into the cost of doing business and price dishes accordingly. That way, it’s very easy for me as a consumer to look at the menu, see the prices, and decide if I can afford to eat (and I can’t decide to stiff the server as a means of saving money). However, it’s the system we have, so we all have to work with it. I get it - it’s not your fault they took a crappy, low-paying job. Well, it’s not the server’s fault that you’re an asshole. Be glad that you didn’t have to accept a job that only pays $2.13/hour, because it probably wasn’t the server’s first choice, either (most of us would rather find a job as “rich housewife” or “kept man” rather than “waitress or waiter).
When in doubt, ask yourself, “Will the server appreciate the dollar more than I will miss it?” If the answer is “No,” you should not be going out to eat. In America, we all know that tipping is part of the cost of eating out. When deciding whether to eat out, look at the available amount of money you have to spend. If it’s so low that you cannot order a meal AND tip, then eat at McDonald’s. If you have enough money to eat out, but not order the most expensive thing on the menu and tip, then you order something less expensive. Where money is an issue, you need to calculate the tip before placing your order. Your phone probably has something that will do this for you. If it doesn’t, one of your dining companions probably has a phone that will do this for you. If you don’t have any dining companions, or any money, why are you eating out?
I’m not saying that the waiter can be a jackass, insult you, ignore you, spill food all over you, bring out the wrong order and still gets at least 20%. This is called “Don’t be an asshole,” not “Be a Total Schmuck.” But when you get a waiter with an attitude, the problem is, not tipping doesn’t always make them think, “Gee, maybe I was a jackass who doesn’t deserve a tip.” No, it makes them think, “What a jerk! I can’t believe that guy stiffed me!” You’re better off talking to the manager about the problems you had with the service. Maybe that will help the server in the future. Or, at least if they still just think you’re a jerk, you can at least feel better about being the bigger person.
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