How to Walk a Dog

Now, this one can be a little tricky, so I'll try to make it simple.  Here is the right way to walk a dog:
1.  Put your dog on a leash.
2.  Venture out into the great outdoors.
3.  Walk on your own property and areas open to the general public.
4.  Keep the dog a reasonable distance from other dogs, especially if likely to bark/agitate/attack.  Move between the dog and pedestrians when there is room.  Do not allow to race off, chasing other animals.
5.  Any time the dog goes to the bathroom, use a plastic bag to pick up what he leaves behind.  Throw it an available trashcan, or wait until you get home.
                                   

How Not to Walk Your Dog (avoid all of these things):
1.  Open the front door and let the dog race out, leashless, while you saunter about half a block behind, sending text messages.
2.  Cheer the dog on if he gets into an altercation with another animal.
3.  Lead the dog into your neighbor's property so he can chase their cats/poop on their lawn/harass their dogs through windows and fences.
4.  Any time the dog goes to the bathroom, leave it there.  Laugh, knowing that someone will eventually step in it.   (If you do this, I sincerely hope you get a ticket.)
5.  Any time the dog goes to the bathroom, pick it up.  Save it, then leave it on the doorstep of someone you don't like later, or throw bags of feces out of a moving car at pedestrians.  (Seriously, don't do that. You could get arrested.)

If you're not willing or able to pick up after your dog, hire someone who can.  If you can't afford to hire someone, and you're not willing or able to pick up after your dog, you should not have one.  You're not allowed to bring your dog onto someone else's yard without permission, whether they have a fence or not, and it's not funny to watch them fight with other animals.  Take care of your dog.  Be a responsible pet owner.  It will make you a better person and a better pet owner in the long run.