How to Attend a Conference

I am a member of an organization that, among other things, holds conferences regularly thoughout the year at various places. Although they're mostly attended by people in the area, they're open to everyone. These conferences are run by volunteers. That means that the person you're yelling at probably doesn't have any real incentive to fix your problem if you're screaming like an asshole.

Anyway, lots of things happen at these conferences. Some people socialize. Some people attend speakers, some play games. Some people leave the conference and go explore the city. A lot of people drink. Some don't. It's all good. Whatever you want to do is OK (within the available options). The appropriate way to attend the conference is to pay your fee, show up, and not be an asshole to anyone.

The inappropriate way? Start screaming and throwing a fit a week in advance because an event that someone else volunteered to provide at the conference allowed people who drink alcohol to attend, as long as they're not drinking in the room.

Also inappropriate? Go into the event that is for 21+ and start screaming at the caterer (the CATERER?) about why she should not provide delicious food inside the event. Tell her that she instead needs to put the food where people who don't drink aren't required to walk near alcohol to provide it.* The caterer, who makes the food she is paid to make and puts it where she is paid to put it. The caterer who is also a volunteer and gets paid little on top of the cost of her time/materials. The caterer who has no control whatsoever over where to serve her food and who doesn't care at all about whatever your issues with drinkers are.

If you are so very, very sensitive to the idea of other people drinking alcohol in the same hotel as you, or of people you might know drinking in a separate room, then you really probably should stay home. In any hotel, there's a chance that you might encounter that terrifying thing known as alcohol.

Now, if you have a problem and you're seeking help, that's great. Good for you. But maybe you should consider a way to structure your activities in a way that you're not tempted, instead of insisting that the rest of the conference structure their activities around you. Unless the sole reason for the conference is that it's your birthday party (and you're paying for it), you're just not that special.

Also inappropriate? Showing up in the areas where food is being prepared and insisting that they allow you to come in with your dog. Yes, legitimate service animals are not subject to the same general restrictions as other pets. (Of course, we all know that this isn't really a service animal.) But there's no reason that you, a random attendee to the conference, needs to be in the food production area at all. If it is impossible for you to enter the food preparation area without your dog, we don't want you there. Even dog lovers (and I truly do love dogs - it's people I don't lie) don't want your dog food in their food.

So, to avoid being an asshole, please, please, please, do not impose your personal issues on every other person attending a conference that is hosting hundreds of people.

* By near, I mean "in the same room." It's not like the table of delicious food was set up on the other side of a pool of gin that took up the entire room, forcing people to swim across if they wanted to eat.